April Fools’ Day

April 1, 2008

My kids came down to breakfast today all riled up because they’d heard on the radio that Barack Obama was dropping out of the Presidential race.  My nine year-old, who is a Hillary supporter (yes, like the National Democratic Party, ours is a house divided) was excited.  My twelve year-old, who is an Obamaniac, was a bit more skeptical, but she wanted to make certain that the report they’d heard on the radio (which apparently included a clip of Obama announcing his withdrawal “in his own voice”) was merely an April Fools’ prank.  I assured her that it was.

Maybe it’s just me, but this seemed a pretty clumsy attempt to fool people.  If you’re a radio station looking to trick your listeners, and your target audience turns out to be somewhere between the ages of 9 and 12, you’re aiming too low.  Off the top of my head I was able to think of several false stories that would have been far more convincing.

Let’s start with the obvious:  tell us it’s Hillary Clinton who’s dropping out rather than Obama.  THAT would have gotten my attention.  I still would have been skeptical, but at least she’s in more of a position to give up the race.  The guy with the lead in money, delegates, popular vote, and current horse race numbers probably isn’t going to quit….

Or tell us that John McCain has chosen his running mate and will announce the name at noon today.  Drop a few names as possibilities — Crist, Rice, Huckabee, Romney, Pawlenty. And then throw in a whopper just to make it interesting:  Lieberman.

Or, with baseball season starting up again, tell us that new names have surfaced in the steroid scandal, including not only several current major leaguers, but also Vice President Dick Cheney.  As proof, point to Cheney’s baldness, his jowly look, his hyper-aggressive statements and behavior.  That one I’d believe….

Happy April Fools’ Day all.  Oh, and by the way, did I mention that I’ve decided to pitch the whole writer thing and run for Congress?  Yeah.  I think voters here in rural Tennessee are ready to elect a liberal New York Jew with a beard and an earring.

Today’s music:  Sphere

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5 Responses to “April Fools’ Day”

  1. Suzane in VT said

    Why stop there? Announce that you’re running for president. Hey, I’ll vote for ‘ya.

  2. davidbcoe said

    Don’t want that job. Not even as a joke….

  3. Alan said

    We had one here where they said that police were going to start targetting speeding pedestrians and issuing on the spot fines. Some people got really upset. Why do people believe such ludicrosity on the first of April?

    And yes, ludicrosity is so a word.

  4. davidbcoe said

    Speeding pedestrians! I love it!

    And for the rest of you reading this, take everything this man says about the English language with a grain of salt: he’s Australian.

  5. Frank said

    Well, Maybe a liberal New York Jew with a beard, but the Earring would have to go.

    *To the strains of “Dueling Banjos”*
    We don’t Cotton ta’ Earrings in these here parts! Go Back where ya’ Come from, ya’ Earring-wearin’ Commie!

    At this point I will waive my Image Consultant fee.

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