If Gardeners Talked Like Sports Stars….

April 14, 2008

So this all started yesterday. The weather reports were calling for a freeze last night (and for one tonight) and so Nancy, who’s a terrific gardener, went out to cut some of her flowers. The bunch that she brought in — daffodils, tulips, bluebells — was so beautiful that even our soon-to-be-a-teenager daughter was impressed.
We’ve been watching a lot of sports recently: the NCAA tournaments — men’s and women’s — the Masters. And we started joking around with gardener interview cliches. The rest is . . . Well, the rest is here for you to see.
“We’re here with Nancy, star of today’s gardening activities. Nancy this must be a great moment for you. Tell us how you’re feeling.”
“Oh, this is great. It’s so hard to put into words, you know? I’ve worked so hard, and to have it all come together like this . . . it’s like a dream come true.”
“It looked like a real team effort out there.”
“It was.  I couldn’t have accomplished any of this without my teammates. Sun, Rain, Soil — they’ve had my back all season long, you know?  There are no stars on this team. We’re like a family.”
“Are you surprised by the result?”
“Not at all. You know, it’s been a long winter, and we had a lot of adversity to overcome. Frost, snow, drought. The deer really did a job on the day lilies there for a while. A lot of people counted us out, you know.  They didn’t give us a chance. But we never stopped believing in ourselves. We just kept at it and with the help of the good lord we got it done.”
“It looked like you had a bit of a struggle there with the daffodils. Can you tell us about that?”
“Yeah, it got a little tense there for a bit. These are specialty flowers you know — people hear “daffodils” and they think “Oh, that’s routine.” But these are hybrids and there’s nothing routine about that. But we train for this, you know? We put in a lot of hours:  weeding, getting down in the dirt. And in the end all that hard work really paid off.”
“That’s great. Now that the flowers are in are you going to relax for a while?”
[Laughs] “I wish. No, we’ve still got a few more bulbs coming up — irises, more tulips, and we’re still hoping that the day lilies can pull it out. Then we have the perennials to get in, and we’re even thinking of trying a few veggies this year.  This is just one set of cuttings. We need to stay focused and keep our eyes on our goal. That’s what it’s all about.”
“Well, Nancy, thanks for you time. And congratulations.”

“Thanks a lot.”

2 Responses to “If Gardeners Talked Like Sports Stars….”

  1. Frank said

    My wife hates the idiotic nature of sports commentary, and loves to tell this story:

    During the Summer Olympics, back before they staggered the Summer and Winter Games, when they did it all every election (and leap)year, Becca (then just a youngster) was watching Diving with her father, when the play-by-play guy, having exhausted the few things you can say about people jumping, one after another, into a pool from a very high platform, was reduced to this:

    “…(diver)is lining up… springing… a triple-turn!.. and..(excitement building in his voice) Lands It…. **RIGHT IN THE WATER!!** An excellent performance for….”

    Her dad nearly fell out of his chair laughing. Where else was the guy gonna’ land?

  2. davidbcoe said

    That’s very funny, Frank.

    Nancy and I once heard a color commentator for a football game (I’ll keep his name to myself, since he died not so long ago) say of a mixed extra point, “That may or may not turn out to be a big play in this game.”

    Yep, that pretty much covered it.

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