I’m Well Into My Dad-Teens

May 6, 2009

Today is my fourteenth Dad Day.  I’ve been a Dad for exactly 14 years and I’m hoping for lots of presents.  Yeah, yeah, that means it’s also my older daughter’s 14th birthday, but this is about me, damnit!  This is my day to celebrate me, you know?  It’s my chance to kind of, like, reflect on everything that’s cool about me being a Dad.  And there’s A LOT for me to reflect on.  

In those first few years I kind of stumbled along, making mistake after mistake, and dealing with totally gross stuff like diapers and baby food and baby puke, which looked suspiciously like baby food, but smelled worse.   It was pretty lame actually.  I was pretty lame.  But not anymore.  I’m fourteen now (in Dad years) and I know everything I need to know.  Really.  I mean, sure there are people who claim they know more than me (Than I?  Oh, what-EV-er!).  These geezers have been doing the parent thing for-like-ever.  But that doesn’t make them experts, right?  I mean, experts are people who get on TV to talk about stuff that other people want to learn about, and who wants to see geezers on TV talking about this stuff?  I don’t.

Like, the other day one of my daughters (I forget which one, and really what difference does it make?) was complaining about feeling sick and having a fever and throwing up and being achy and tired and stuff.  And I was like, “Okay, get over it already!”  I mean, ohmyGod, how much of that stuff can one person listen to, right?  And this is just what I mean.  Back when I was five or six in Dad years I would have been, like, “Oh, poor baby!  You need to lie down.  We’ll take your temperature and put a blanket on you and get you some gatorade or something.”  Lame, right?  And those geezer-guys will tell you to take a kid like that to the doctor or to read some lame All-About-Sick-Kids book.  Like I have time for that, right?  I mean you have no idea how hard it is being me.  Being fourteen in Dad years is really, really, really hard, even when you know as much as I do.

But today isn’t about the hard stuff, like, you know, kids and things.  Today is about me and my fourteen years as a Dad.  So let’s eat some cake and open presents!  

Um, will presents make my face break out…?


4 Responses to “I’m Well Into My Dad-Teens”

  1. Brian said

    LOL, wow, thats pretty funny. Happy Dad-day to you!

  2. kodyhackbusch said

    That’s pretty awesome. Congrats on reaching Dad puberty.

    By the way I just wanted to let you know that I am a big fan, I blasted through all five books of Winds of the Forelands faster than anything I have read in a long while and loved every moment of it.

    So definitely keep up all the good work!

    • davidbcoe said

      Thanks for the kind words, Kody. Glad to know you’ve enjoyed Winds of the Forelands so much. Hope you’ll like Blood of the Southlands, too!

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